Personal Wedding Vows are a beautiful and special opportunity to dig deep and think about what sort of life you pledge to share in the future. So I have created a few tips on how to write wedding vows.
Nervous about writing wedding vows? You’re not alone. Many people are not sure how to find the words and sometimes ask me if they can skip the personal vows altogether!
I am super passionate about this part of the wedding ceremony – this is the one time you can stand before your partner and tell them how you feel about them, witnessed by your nearest and dearest.
Last Minute Wedding Vows
Some brides and grooms put off writing their vows until the last minute, or even get their bridesmaids and groomsmen to help write them the night before! Writing your vows doesn’t have to be daunting so I am here to help make sure you’re not sweating on the eve of your big day. Here are my top tips.
How To Write Wedding Vows
THE STRUCTURE OF YOUR WEDDING VOWS
The “I Do’s” or “The Asking”
- (The Celebrant asks “Do you [name] take [name] to be your husband/ wife/spouse?”
You answer with “I do.”
- The Personal Vows (written by you).
- The Legal Vows (You must have a version of this to be legally married)
Repeat after the Celebrant: “With this ring, I ask everyone here to witness that I [name] take you [name] to to be my lawful wedded husband/wife/spouse”
HOW DO I WRITE MY PERSONAL WEDDING VOWS?
It’s super helpful to remember that yes this is a declaration of love for your partner, but it is also a promise. They are called vows for a reason. What promises are you making to your partner about the life you are about to share?
Think of the vows in two parts:
“I love you because of this” and “I promise this”.
WHERE TO START ON WRITING MY PERSONAL WEDDING VOWS?
The very best vows are ones that are unique and personal to you. It will be so much more meaningful to your partner if you are SPECIFIC. Avoid cliches and generalisations if you can.
For example, anyone can say, ‘I really love you’. How can you make this more specific and unique to your partner?
Think about the very specific things you love about your partner. Write them down. What specifically about them makes you smile / laugh / proud ?
What memories do you cherish?
What were your first impressions of your partner? What did you notice / like straight away?
What was something unexpected you learned about your partner?
Being specific is the KEY to writing exceptional, heartfelt, unique and personal vows to make your partner feel heard, seen, loved and special.
HOW TO BE FUNNY IN YOUR WEDDING VOWS
What are the things that make you laugh with your partner?
What are the contradictions in your partner?
What are the differences between you and your partner?
What is something that you know you do that annoys your partner? Vow to stop doing that.
Being specific again is a way to find humour in recognition.
HOW TO BE FUNNY IN YOUR WEDDING VOWS
What are the things that make you laugh with your partner?
What are the contradictions in your partner?
What are the differences between you and your partner?
What is something that you know you do that annoys your partner? Vow to stop doing that.
Being specific again is a way to find humour in recognition.
CAN’T FIND THE RIGHT WORDS FOR YOUR VOWS?
Try finishing these sentences:
The first time I saw you…
I promise I’ll…
I promise we’ll…
You make/give me…
I look forward to a future of…
Start by SAYING THEIR NAME, and finish with I love you.
EDIT YOUR WORK
Firstly, check with your partner and decide on a word / time limit so you are both in the same ballpark.
Check the TONE of your vows. Funny and lighthearted is great, but balance the laughs with something sincere and heartfelt and you’re on to a winner!
Check if you have repeated yourself, and if you can be more SPECIFIC.
PERSONAL WEDDING VOWS NOT FOR YOU?
While personal vows are often my favourite part of the ceremony…
If you both decide not to write personal vows, that is totally fine. Feel free to stick with just the ‘I do’s and the ‘repeat after me’ legal wording, and save your heartfelt promises for your honeymoon, or a love letter before the ceremony.
ONCE YOU’VE WRITTEN YOUR VOWS
If I’m your celebrant, once you have written your personal vows, send them to me and I can let you know if you are both on the same page as far as length and tone. And can I give you some feedback? I’ll also print them on a nice card for you, so on the wedding day they look nice in your photos, and then you can hold onto your personal wedding vows as a keepsake for anniversaries to come.
Northern Beaches Marriage Celebrant
Gary’s goal is for you to have the best wedding day possible! He is an enthusiastic, grounded, fun-loving and relaxed Wedding Celebrant and Professional Wedding MC based in Australia.
He was an electrician who loved his wedding so much, he quit his job and became a full-time celebrant.
He’s here to help you plan your wedding and get the party started!
